today has been long. the kids threw tantrums and i came to tears, lost my temper, i yelled. I nearly spanked. i wanted to spank. i got calm instead. it was a LONG day.
My boyfriend witnesses it all, calmly, and accepts. i had fear surrounding him seeing the way we really are; because now i'm not just his sex date, im an emotional wreck mother with three occasionally deranged children. but positive things are coming from this as well. I feel more supported in my parenting than i have in years by both of the men . We eat dinner at the table properly, the kids go to
one of the best things so far about living there though, is the murder of crows. i was worried that once we moved there would be no more ravens about and that i would miss them,But! the murder of crows that comes every evening, perhaps fourhundred sqwaking squalling, black eyed imps surround the house in droves, flapping and cawing , as dark and brilliant as anything ive ever seen. Its terribly exciting!!!
and still, no camera.
i'm busy. there are a million things in my head, but im glad we moved here. it was time.
Everything is pretty good, i think.